i've long known, and most of you probably have as well, that there was something not all there with me.
mostly i put it down to me being bad.
questions i've never been asked before.
Crumples,
I'm so glad you've taken this affirmative course of action, instead of letting your life just carry on being ruled by the surging chemicals inside you.
I don't know what'll happen to you next, honey, but i do know that you'll always be in the thoughts of many here. Especially me.
tim
x
i was just reading some of my old diaries and wanted to share it particularly for anyone who feels despair, who is locked into the society through family and especially for any young lurkers still in.
i wrote this shortly after i turned 15. comments in brackets are my own to clarify.. tuesday 1st may 1990. you know i frequently wish that there was some arrangement whereby you could go to sleep and never have to go through the trouble of waking up.
i dont believe one can ever actually be truly happy.
Crumples,
If only I'd known 30-odd years ago, as a teenager, that I wasn't alone in feeling the same way as you did, then there's a lot about my life that might have been so different.
I'll second what you say to the teenagers locked in to the JW's now; there's a huge network of support available to you these days, and there's no need to accept the isolation and hopelessness that you may be feeling. Sure, it won't be easy to break away from something you've known since birth, and you'll be under a lot of pressure to conform, but there is a life outside of the JW's that is open to you if you have the courage to make that first step. It's up to you though.
tim
well, i thought i'd start a fluff thread for once, so i'm posting here some of my favorite photos from my many trips over the years.
i hope you enjoy them and they inspire you to take awesome pictures on your own travels (or even your own backyard).
[edited to add...let's hope this formatting helps...jgnat].
Leo,
Welcome back! I love your sense of timing - particularly in the latter shots. Lovely!
tim
warning: don't read this if you are easily depressed!.
here's how it is for me right now - no frills:.
its pants, sh*t, black, doom, gloom and don't spare the melancholy (pronounced mel-ankley if you are me).. what's brought this on?
I think I got a swing back in my hips today.
Crumples,
I think you sashay far better than you shuffle.........
tim
Awww...he's sweet on you...
You could become an item and wear matching shoes together!
tim
Purps,
Do you have a baseball bat handy?
Just asking, that's all......
tim
warning: don't read this if you are easily depressed!.
here's how it is for me right now - no frills:.
its pants, sh*t, black, doom, gloom and don't spare the melancholy (pronounced mel-ankley if you are me).. what's brought this on?
......every time I had bad thoughts about myself or bad situations, I'd laugh - my counsellor picked up on that very quickly. I was using the laughter to cover up the pain and guilt I felt. Gradually, I laughed less and less until one day the lid blew off the bottle that held all that pain and I cried and cried. I'm sensing you might be close to something like this.
I think that's nailed it, sugarplum.
I think that your almost-constant light-heartedness, and your hectic life in general, are a way of masking that massive baggage that you've you've been carrying for so long. You just might need to go back a long way further (and very much deeper) than you've ever been before in order to find the undoubtedly wondeful person that lies inside.
We love you.
tim
x
any body watched 'hot fuzz' yet?.
i watched it with the older kids on friday night and again on saturday night and we are still laughing about it!.
absolutely hilarious!!!
Juni,
It's a very funny film, but I think you'd have to be a Brit to truly appreciate it! There's a lot of US-style slo-mo action, but set in a UK village scenario, so you need to be familiar with our culture to be able to laugh at the parody. Very astutely made.
tim
this is for all those parents of teens out there..... do you really want your child on myspace?.
my 12 (almost 13) yr old opened her own acct without my permission....knowing full well i don't want her on it!!!.
she gets to do a lot but she's starting to try to be a lot more independent from me and when it comes to the web, i am very careful.. anyone dealt with this one?.
I was bullied into opening an account by a lady on these boards.
Now that I've got it, I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to do with it. I'm just a middle-aged bloke with very little of interest to say.
tim
i guess i am too open.
many times i have been slammed and get furious with the results.
there are a few posters including some long time members and possible trolls that enrage me.
I have nothing to hide, my life JW is an open book, it is also, ancient history.
For the 27 years that I have been out, the trauma and pain, (inflicted on me by that destructive cult) has been pushed into the back of my mind. I never thought about it, I just moved on and pretended that it never happened.
In January I found JWD, have started the process of digging up and dealing with the demons of my childhood.
Philip
Same here, Phillip.
Been out 32 years, but dogged by depression since childhood. Found the boards about a year ago, and realised that I wasn't alone.
Nice to meet you!
tim
